May 2, 2006

By Sean Keeler, Register Columnist

On one end, you have video game covers, commercials, and Nicollette Sheridan draped around you wearing nothing but a towel.

On the other end of the NFL, well, you have Andy Stokes.

At last count, the Arizona Cardinals have cut him and re-signed him four times. Stokes goes through contracts the way Colin Farrell goes through girlfriends.

"When things like that happen, you always wonder if they will sign you back or if someone else is going to grab you," Stokes, the former William Penn University (Iowa) tight end, says via e-mail. "All you can really do is hope and pray that it all works out."

You probably remember Stokes as the last pick of the 2005 NFL draft. Mr. Irrelevant. Herr Bedeutungslos, as he's known in Germany.

Stokes is playing with the Rhein Fire of NFL Europe, or rather, not playing. He's spent most of his time abroad this spring rehabbing injuries to his knee and ankle.

"As far as thinking about going back to the States, yeah, I think about it," says Stokes, who's caught just four balls in league play since being allocated by the Cardinals. "But there is so much to see and do out here, I try to take advantage of the time I have."

The average lifespan of an NFL career is three-and-a-half seasons. Keep that in mind as you watch the draft this weekend.

For every Chad Greenway, there's three Andy Stokes. Lunchpail guys who grind for little or no glory on the shallow end of a roster. Week to week. Paycheck to paycheck.

"(He's) resilient," says Carl Hargrave, Stokes' tight ends coach at Arizona.

The Cardinals snapped Andy up off waivers last August after he was cut by New England. They've been shuttling him to and from the practice squad ever since.

"I'd be on the phone with him and I'd say, 'Don't go too far. We'll see you in the morning," says Hargrave laughing. "Happened all year."

It's cold. It's impersonal. It's life. Hargrave, who was Iowa's tight ends coach from 1992-93, was a former all-Iowa Conference safety at Upper Iowa. He got drafted by Oakland in 1976. Cut. Denver, 1977. Cut. New York Giants camp, 1978. Wrecked an ankle.

"It doesn't matter where you go," says Hargrave, who left New York to turn to coaching full-time. "It's what you do while you're there."

A year ago, Stokes was a cute story. A fairy tale, the longshot with the long arms from the little NAIA school.

But after less than a month in New England, the Utah native discovered rookie lesson No. 1: In the NFL, cute has a short shelf life.

The folks who put on the "Mr. Irrelevant" celebration in Newport Beach, Calif., wanted Andy to come out for a week in June. New England coach Bill Belichick, not exactly known for his irreverent spirit, gave the kid two days off, period, end of discussion. No Disneyland. No working with the grounds crew at an Angels game.

Stokes did get a trophy - the Lowsman Trophy, a fumbling satire of the Heisman - out of the deal. And a massage chair.

"Very useful during the football season," Andy notes.

Especially when you're sitting at home, waiting for the phone to ring. The Patriots lopped him at the end of preseason camp. Lesson No. 2: The NFL doesn't believe in fairy tales.

"I know more than ever now that the NFL is a job, just like any other job," Stokes says. "You have to produce and show continual improvement to keep your job."

Even in NFL Europe, them's the breaks. Herr today, gone tomorrow.