Feb. 3, 2007

By Rob Florian and David Walbright

After two weeks of "Super" hype I have heard enough from expert analysts. Enough about Manning's monkey and Rex's resilience. The only thing the experts haven't dissected: the fact that they have the exact same chance at picking a winner as everyone else. It's 50-50.

Still here are a few factors that may have you tilting one way or the other. After extensive research, here is my amateur analysis. The information is not earth-shaking... However, as a non-scholarship football player, I at least deserve two cents.

Coach
Bears: Lovie Smith has 23 years of experience coaching at the collegiate and professional levels.

Colts: Tony Dungy has an uncanny ability to grow an intense amount of facial hair while still sustaining complete baldness.

Advantage - Colts

Intangibles
Bears: Despite a sputtering offense the team always finds a way to win.

Colts: Now that Peyton Manning has the monkey off his back he is prime for a breakout game.

Advantage - Colts

Strength of Schedule
Bears: Posted an 11-1 conference record.

Colts: Beat the 7-9 Buffalo Bills who like the Chicago Bears have 12 letters in their name

Advantage - Colts (Because counting the actual letters of each team took way too long to not include it again in the column.)

Jealousy Factor
Bears: Lovie Smith envies Dungy for being the only NFL player to ever catch an interception and throw an interception in the same game. (And he has the hair thing.)

Colts: Reports are that Tony Dungy is envious of Lovie Smith, because he was the first African American to go to a Super Bowl. (Lovie's team won the NFC title game a monumental three hours before Dungy won.)

Advantage - No one (As one of the seven deadly sins, envy should never be rewarded.)

Famous Fans
Bears: Yogi Bear, the Super Fans, Danica Patrick, Mike Ditka

Colts: Mr. Ed

Advantage - Bears

The final key fact:

The last time Billy Joel sang the National Anthem was Super Bowl XXIII in Miami. Joe Montana led the "dynastic" San Francisco 49ers past the "good effort" Cincinnati Bengals. On that Sunday, Joe Montana was wearing jersey No. 16. When 16 is divided by two, the quotient is 8, which is precisely the same number that Chicago Bears quarterback Rex Grossman will wear Sunday at Super Bowl XLI in Miami.

Coincidence? More like me pulling random numbers out of the air for a change of pace. Nevertheless, if all else fails this mathematical equation could be the defining factor that will lead to determining a victor.

The final prediction:

So when the dust clears from a fire that we didn't start, the ultimate advantage goes to...

Billy Joel! Who sums up my Super Bowl analysis best:
"You may be right, I may be crazy, but it just may be a lunatic your looking for."

We'll also take the Colts to win by three.